


Dungeons & Dragons: Avengers Style

by 23a



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Characters Play Dungeons & Dragons, Comedy, Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, Everybody Lives, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Fun, Gen, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/23a/pseuds/23a
Summary: There's this post on Tumblr that the Guardians of the Galaxy are actually the Avengers playing D&D. Obviously not compliant with Infinity War or Endgame when they meet. My friends and I saw this meme and started discussing who would play what, changing some things and expanding it to include more Avengers. I decided to write it up, some of the lines and ideas are from my friends, it's just a fun D&D session between Avengers who are friends.





	Dungeons & Dragons: Avengers Style

Everyone groaned as Tony's character, Rocket, stole the artificial leg of their guide.

"Are you serious?!" Natasha exclaimed. "He's not going to help us now!"

"What, you think a little thing like that'll turn him off?"

"People generally don't like having their body parts stolen, Tony," Cap said, shaking his head.

"Oh, you're one to talk. Your character ditched the party to try and woo some exotic alien."

"Seemed like a Star-Lord thing to do."

"Yeah, still offended you named him Peter," Peter interjected. "Is that what you think of me?"

"Of course not!"

"Trust me, young man of spiders," said Thor. "We do not question your character in the slightest, and are sure you are absolutely free of such scandalous activities."

"Uh, thanks, Thor," Peter said.

"Yeah you're a good kid," Bruce said with a smile from where he was working on some scientific work on the other side of the room. "Don't hang around Tony too long, he'll corrupt you."

"Shut up, Bruce," Tony said. "You quit the game, you don't get to comment."

"That was a life comment."

"These things never fail to entertain me," said Clint, shaking his head.

"I know, I feel like I'm watching a cage match," Natasha said. "Got any popcorn?"

"Alright, alright, back to the game!" Nick Fury said.

"You're one to talk," Tony said with a snort. "Your character has almost no relevance to the story."

"Hey, Nova Prime is important!"

"Face it, Nick," said Maria, shaking her head. "Neither of us are relevant to this thing anymore. We're just here because maybe if we stay long enough they'll let us talk to them about actual mission stuff."

"You think you guys are irrelevant?" Sam said, annoyed. "I play the Guardian's ship. Their actual ship. The only use I have is rolling for whether or not I have engine failure."

"Yeah, and the engine fails too often, dude," Tony said.

T'Challa sighed. "Can we please cut the bickering and get this over with?"

"Y'know, Your Majesty," Bucky said, "If you don't want to play that's fine, as DM I can let you out like I did Bruce."

"Yeah, by killing Groot!" Tony said. "Rude."

"But it let me take over as baby Groot instead of just playing old dude with cameos," Peter said.

"Yeah, well, that's not good, you should be doing your homework and not playing."

"Tony, stop trying to parent him," Wanda said with a shake of her head, trying to decide on a course of action for her character Mantis.

"As tempting as that sounds," T'Challa said to Bucky, "Shuri told me that I need to socialize more and threatened to wreak havoc on the technology in my room if I do not."

"Bit rude of a thing for a sister to do," Natasha said with a frown.

"You're one to talk," Clint said with a chuckle. "Gamora has been a very bad sister to Nebula."

"I thought they worked that out!"

"Well, yeah, but still."

"I still can't believe you made a second character just to screw with me. Yondu wasn't good enough for you?"

"Well, now he's dead! He was cool, though, I'll grant you that. 'Specially the whole arrow thing."

"Well, that is why my character Kraglin chose to follow him," T'Challa said with a nod. "He makes a good leader."

"He raised Star-Lord to be a thief," Cap said with a frown.

"Fair point."

"Well, nobody's perfect," said Wanda.

"That is very true," Thor agreed.

"Yeah, your character can't even understand metaphors," Tony said.

"Do not insult him for being metaphorically challenged!"

"It's a literal challenge, buddy."

"Can we _please_ return to the game?" T'Challa asked.

"Yeah, let's do that," Bucky agreed. "So... Rocket stole the guide's leg, and, he's not going to help you now."

"Told you so," Natasha said, shaking her head.

"Thanks a lot," said Clint.

"I am Groot," Peter said, shaking his head. "Can I please do something more?"

"Your homework," said Tony.

"Damn, Tony, you really are parenting," said Clint.

"I-shut up, Barton."

"Can we make it without the guide?" Wanda asked.

"Doesn't look like it," said Bucky. "You'll have to pass on this one. Nice going, Tony, you ruined the mission!"

"You killed my parents."

The room grew very quiet all of a sudden. Everyone turned their heads to look from Bucky to Tony, then back again.

"So," said Cap. "I think this is an excellent time for a snack break!"

"Meanwhile," Peter said in a small voice, "Stan Lee is talking to a hot space alien nearby."

They all got up, and Cap walked over to Tony. "I thought we were trying to move past that..."

"He killed my parents."

"Yes, I know, but you said you were willing to forgive him."

"Said I was willing to, didn't say I had done it."

"Alright, well, maybe let's talk about this later and not at our weekly D&D game?"

"Yeah. Whatever."

"I think Rhodes made a wise choice staying out of this game," Natasha said to Clint, shaking her head.

"Definitely. He could have made a good warrior, though. I just can't believe I play this game once a week, my kids probably think I'm such a dork."

"Well, yeah, but not because of the D&D."

"Gee, thanks Nat."

"You're less of a dork than Scott. I asked him if he wanted to join and he said he couldn't cause he's already involved in two campaigns."

"Sounds like Scott."

"Yeah."

After five minutes, they all sat back at the table, with T'Challa staying standing for a minute. "This is ridiculous, I shouldn't be playing this game... I have a kingdom to run..."

"Yes, yes. We've all got kingdoms to run," Thor said, sounding annoyed. "Sit down and play the game."

With a sigh, T'Challa joined them all at the table.

Bucky looked awkwardly over at Tony before saying, "Alright. So the next villain is called Thanos..."


End file.
